Not yet....lesson in the waiting

Monday morning, I eagerly spent sorting through girls clothes! This weekend, my sister in law returned some clothes that Allie wore. I totally had forgotten that I'd given these to her.  I was excited to look through them again. As I walked down memory lane, I found myself dreaming of the two little girls princesses that will wear those clothes, again. These, along with many more clothes we've been blessed with by great, generous friends, needed organizing.  Ruth and Naomi have a full closet of dresses and  shoes, as well as a dresser full of an assortment of clothes. I took some time trying to organize clothes for now, (that they can wear in a tropical climate) some for later, (I'm holding fast to the fact that they will be home by winter- a cold, PA winter). Then some for down the road a bit.  Between dreaming and trying to guess what sizes the girls will wear this winter and next summer, I made quite a mess! As the boys jumped on the girls' beds, I found myself lost in thought, as I imagine of all six of our children growing up together. I am feeling so ready, SO READY for that time to begin.

It's been common knowledge lately, that we are stuck waiting for President Martelly (the president of Haiti) to sign our dispensation. That afternoon, it didn't seem out of the ordinary when I got a message to call my friend Shannon. She and her husband, along with two other couples were the families I had the privilege to get to know better on my trip to Haiti in February. As fellow adoptive families, I have dearly appreciated their friendships, advice sharing, and headache racking through this long journey. Shannon and I have had many lengthy conversations and I value her friendship.  I knew her husband and the two other dads were in Haiti this week, visiting their children.

It wasn't long into our conversation when she had explained to me that they had met a man who did work in Haiti and had a contact with President Martelly. Perfect. That's exactly the word we've needed to hear! As her details unfolded, she explained how the men had gone to the Presidential Palace that morning with our coordinator and their contact. Well it doesn't end there- President Martelly, himself, ended up joining them and talking with them!!! He agreed to sign the papers!
Yay! Heart jumping! Pee your pants a little, screaming for joy! But......

The catch is- that since the man who introduced them to the President's aide has not had the chance to meet us, along with two other families who are adopting from the same home, he was not able to give a recommendation for us. My heart sank. gut punch. sick stomach. tight chest. I tried to soak in all she was telling me. I know I had her repeat many of the details, I felt so shocked. I was crushed. We have walked so much of this road together, and stood together as we fight insanity at times. I am so thankful for friends that understand the pain of waiting, unlike anyone else can.   Shannon reassured me, that ours would still be signed, and of course, it would be soon. But no one really knows. No one really knows. No.one.really.knows.

But God.
God knows. I've been reminded by another dear friend this week, that God has already written each of our adoption stories. This is not a surprise to God. He is even patient with me while I slowly suck in the news. He would know the tears I shed in the last few days. He would know the Psalms He led me to in the dark hours of the night. He knows the trust He wants to teach me. I am so thankful for His patience with me. Again.

I don't know all the details. I am surrendering to the fact that I don't need to know all the details. God knows all the details. God knows this is a critical step in this process for Ruth and Naomi to come home. God has reminded us over and over again how He has planned for Ruth and Naomi to come home to wear the clothes in their closet. God is preparing me for the day all 6 of my children jump on the beds together.

I wanted to say....it's signed! He signed! We are moving forward......But I can't. He has not signed, YET. I am trusting my God is faithful, and this work He will complete. I believe He has a lesson for me to learn in the waiting. Another lesson, and another. I feel willing, and I want it to be soon, but that's half of the lesson. Waiting.

I am reminded of the patience of my Lord as He waits for us to come to Him. His heart breaks as He watches us wander, alone, without a Father. Making poor choices along the way. But He waits. as long as it takes. And, then, He's ready with open arms. Time is redeemed!! The lost are redeemed! Found. Home.

I pray daily for this lost time with Ruth and Naomi. The days we are losing make me sick, the memories we are missing break my heart. But, I trust. I trust my God knows. And I'm thankful He does!