We are still pregnant!!! I said, STILL, not again.....com'on, who thought it?!
Sorry, in a week like this, I needed some corney humor. If you are still reading, hang in there and I'll explain.
It's been 18 months now, since we announced we were beginning our paper pregnancy. 18 long months of growth that have made us stronger and wiser, yet more dumbfounded and grey, than we ever imagined.
As we've been describing for over 7 months, we have been waiting for our Presidential Dispensation from the president of Haiti. We've been believing we were getting close- after all, we had to be, right?! I was secretly planning my facebook post of the day we received "that" news: contractions have started!
Well, that was my dream. Last week, Jason and I spent an awesome week with our daughters. We dream of the day they will come home to meet all 4 of their brothers, together. To see the room we have for them, and to play in green grass, and swing on a swing set. I hate to overlook the great week of bonding we spent together, but one week ago today, we were travelling through airports with heavy hearts. It is always so hard to say goodbye. So hard. But more was unfolding as we left Haiti, than I'm comfortable sharing here.
Figuratively speaking, we were bleeding (was that too descriptive?) We were fearing miscarriage. We were in shock and unable to process all that was happening. It was dramatic and emotional. I literally felt like my heart was being ripped out. Since then- I have to remind myself it's only been 7 days- a mess has unravelled.
Each day, we have learned more, little by little, and there is still more we are learning. The harsh reality is hard for me to say, especially to type. We have been a victim of adoption fraud. Our attorney has been found out to be a crook and vindictive. All this has led to our coordinator (whom we've developed a relationship with over this journey) and her husband have been placed in a Haitian jail. Our concern for her grows with each day they are spending in that environment, apart from their 8 month old son. My heart breaks for them to think of their reality now.
We were also broken over what to do about our journey to bring Ruth and Naomi home. We are confident God has led us to them, and has planned for them to be a forever part of our family. We have been reminded that our Heavenly Father is also their Father. He loved them way before we even knew about their lives. He continues to love them passionately, and He has a plan for their future. We have been commanded to care for orphans; and in our family, that means to provide a home and a future with our daughters and sisters. My boys have been very aware of this hiccup this week. We have reminded them repeatedly that we would fight for each one of them, the same way we will fight for Ruth and Naomi. We are their parents, and that's what parents do!
I have spent countless hours on the phone this week, researching options for a new attorney as well as a new place for our girls to live. The answers aren't all put together, yet. But we trust they will be soon. I am so thankful that God has given us a peace with just the right people at just the right time. And how people come back into my path from times before, without me knowing the reason, until it's time. We are still confident that God is good! We do not know the road that is ahead, but we know the waiting continues. But we are thrilled to STILL be pregnant.
I don't know how long this time of growing and waiting will last...I can't guarentee I won't burst, but I know my God is in control and He loves my girls even more than I do. We will continue to give God the glory, in the midst of the crisis. And we are confident, He was not surprised by this, neither is it too big for Him to handle.
And we will let you know when the contractions start (aka- Dispensation is signed)
Then the pushing..... (Passports and Visas)
And of course the delivery!! (airplane day)
Please, please pray for all of the families involved. We are each learning different shattering news. My heart is breaking for the realizations that my peers have had dropped on their laps. Evil is alive and stronger than ever. The enemy does not want hope, and a future for children. Pray for unity, for wisdom as we all pick up the pieces and move forward, and discernement as we seek what is next. And pray for the little children who are the true victims of this corruption.
Pray for righteousness.
Psalm: 34:15- 19 The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their cry. The face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth. The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.